My personal progress

 This year’s i choose the butterfly sword school form . My plan was to have my kids to teach me , as they learned it by doing the 1-1 . I am happy about my decision! I can tell my struggles . Trying to figure out the form . Both kids have help me and i can see a difference between both . Nothing major but few move were not executed the same way . A good opportunity to increase my eyes for details and them learning how to break it down by step . Happy about my beta form even if the flow wasn’t there and all my figure 8 move give me trouble. I know where is my major need at this time . 

 When i first joined kungfu ,i wasn’t mentally in a good place . After the first class i was hooked and i  Wanted more than initially thought. Now i can see how kungfu help me in life . About 2 weeks ago i missed one class due i went for a meeting at my daughter school. I left the school so upset then i sat on the bench for the last 15 minutes and watched the class. I automatically calmed down . I felt grounded. I am not in my best shape physically and i went through up and down mentally but each time i get stronger and faster to pass that stage . I know my reason why i am doing kungfu will change with time but right now it keep  me going .                                  Pu 2850 / su 3335 / sparring 48 /km 146 / luong 49.             Ako 149 / butterfly sword 56

 Recently , i got certified at work for iv ultrasound. I got trained after a Night Shift and remember being so upset with myself . I should say ,  i am pretty good with regular iv . They said when you are good with regular iv it will be harder with the ultrasound. At some point i got the thought maybe i will never be able to succeed but i did . Every attempt i learned something or i felt more stable with the probe. This experience was just an other reminder that Not because i can’t at the moment mean i won’t one day . My expectations of the moment should be from the present and buildings up into the future and looking at my past for reference. 

 I started the year of Rabbit with a post surgery. I amazed my self with the creativity to remained engaged. The IHc requirements help me with my rehab to be able to dedicated all my exercises. Without the requirements i would have been a cough potato. I might not have  work all my harmony but i definitely increased the feeling of my body. I can’t always tell what’s is wrong but feeling something is wrong. I am mindful when i do modifications of the stances due repetition can create an bad habits . When i got cleared by the surgeon restrictions I thought i would be able to come back full strength, wrong and that was a start of my frustration. I returned to work and my numbers started to declined .The frustration got me to the point of quitting. Sharing my struggles was the best i could have done .I let my ego aside and slowly building my confidence back that i still belongs to kungfu. My journey is not done only slower and different than others . About 2 weeks ago i hurt my ba...

 Recently at work we had a code black (bomb threat ) Normally the nurse in charge should stand up but in this case she wasn’t ,  so i took the lead . A group of students were there and when the code was lifted the teacher told me their students were amazed how calmed everyone reacted and how smooth it went . Confidence was the key , i knew where to get my resources and was able to apply it . With the banquet approaching i have so many thoughts  in mind. Does my knee will locked , does i ll drop my weapon or even start to soon . The team is providing me strength to be confident . When we were doing the practice demo i don’t question myself but i just feel the vibe and do my best . I never think about what if something happened , i thrust myself to react . Last year i couldn’t be part of the demo and even if my form is not my best performance yet i am still standing and looking forward .

 I have not fulfilled my promises of The IHC but i am still here. Slowly i am learning my trigger of the reason i wanted to quit . One of them is the number due i wanted to reach the 50000 and the minimum to be done daily was a bit too much if not done modified. I am at the point that i don’t want to do everything modified . Looking at my book was a reminder of it . I started a new book and i respect my magic number without doing 5 more . When it will be easy ill increase them . At work i had a patient that he is a quadriplegic , he is doing the para olympiques and he is striving in lives. That was a great reminder that everything is possible to achieve even my black belt . My progress is my own and time shouldn’t be what hold me down . 

 Looking at the big picture have help me to set goals.The trajectory have changed over many years , without challenges my learning and opportunity wouldn’t be where i am at right now. Sharing my feelings and receiving great talks have help me to see more clearly. In my acute injury phases it was easy to see my progress and even feel more engaged. I was looking at the small picture. Back to work full time have decreased time to train and increase strain in my body. My number slowly decreased and got frustrated to think i was able to have high numbers and not anymore, yet i had the whole day to do it . I was able to finish the classes without to many issues and now not is more difficult. Being there to all classes felt great and now i can only attend half  of them. I missed those mornings classes. I drop the dragon dance due it was too much . I stopped being kind to myself and the dark spiral began. Since the last IHC classes , i am looking at one positive point like i mess up m...