My personal progress

Knowing yourself is import specially when you feel like a rollycoaster. To be able to recognize that you can loose control of yourself and do something to avoid fighting is great but my question is how you do . Personally for many years when I reach that feeling I have to step out and be quiet to be able to re center myself and process things differently. When I ressent anger I can became a very mean person and I am not . I believe in respect. My triggers today was I felt separated from the class and decision was made for me .Did my bleu belt was given by charity due of my efforts or of my skill .I will be reaching out to my sihing to understand better the event 

 I received my bleu belt ! I was happy but yet questioning how it s possible. I am not questioning the judgement of my sifu but what they see and i don’t. I still trying to figure it out how to modified my moved , what triggers the pain and how far I can push myself. I can say , yes I did progress but not to where I was before and I want to be .I am not sure if I will ever reach the level I want . It s so hard not to compare myself from before to now . 

Progression is different for me now that he was before. I still trying to keep up with the class but yet giving grief and slowing me down . I have to work on my control to keep a pace that allows me to progress and learn to adapt in the same time of keeping the alignment of my body correctly . Slow down my form help me with my intent of the form and not into my injury but if increased the power and speed then my mind goes to the pain and I get lost in the form .