Time fly and blogging wasn’t on my priority . I thought about the previous situation that have happened . I reach out to received some feed back from my sifu . My own frustration and feelings was projected. I was seeing myself like a burden of the class and not deserve it to be part of the training . I choose to run away thinking that was the best but yet that was just a coping mechanism. I am always afraid to work with a partner due I never know when i won’t be able to continue or need to avoid certain moves . Now I am still at the back but in the last row . Slowly I want to take my place .
I can say many excuses or reasons but yet both feel wrong.Since i am modified at work and doing less training my knee didn’t give me shock sensation or throbbing feeling at night ,It feel good.but Lately i have noted my knee is skipping more often now.Fears of aggravated is on my mind.Beginning of the year i started with that injury .I got satisfied with my weapon instead of looking how i can modified thing i wanted to do.Many time in classes i was pushing further than i should and feeling the pain later . Yet i knew i need it to take an easy but i didn’t. Ego/ stubbornness and fears Training should be easy but harder when i can’t get satisfied or frustrated. I am looking on the negative side instead of looking of my progress even if small it is . Being on the bench is not myself and struggles with limitations.So lately i have been feeling shame of not training and my Blogging have been following that same paths.This oncoming years will also be hard .Igot approved for surger...
The boot camp was an eyes opening for me of how i trained.I was so tired when i got home and sore the next day.Normally i do a bit of everything throughout the day. I survived the fitness test but most important that show me that i should challenge myself with my own training.I never thought i will do meditation due i don’t like when is quiet but i sure do like it now .Feeling it to your finger just by following your breath or the lightness of your body and the general peaceful sensation!
Great job!
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DeleteWell done!
ReplyDeleteExcellent.
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