Motivation can be hard to keep when you question yourself.I feel my progress have been very slow but yet i know i have not attended lots of classes or open training due of work Or family.I had also a few hard shifts .I had a pt dying ,he was palliative but family on denial.They accused me ,they yield at me for not saving him regardless of all my kindness to keep him peaceful.This week was more on the dark side but last night class was awesome!with the challenge given to us to put the show in 15 sec of our weapons forms.I notice i didn’t think and just did and felt that was a good performance!I am my own demon if i allowed it .Too much thinking don’t allow you to feel it or be confident.
Spiral # 2
Time fly and blogging wasn’t on my priority . I thought about the previous situation that have happened . I reach out to received some feed back from my sifu . My own frustration and feelings was projected. I was seeing myself like a burden of the class and not deserve it to be part of the training . I choose to run away thinking that was the best but yet that was just a coping mechanism. I am always afraid to work with a partner due I never know when i won’t be able to continue or need to avoid certain moves . Now I am still at the back but in the last row . Slowly I want to take my place .
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