My personal progress

 Last week i was in Montreal visiting my family specially my aunt that she shave been diagnosed with cancer.It was important to me to go there due she is planning to do maid .My training was at the slowest and not so much in my mind. I can feel it physically and mentally that i didn’t do much . Upon my return on Sunday i bring back a surprise that i really didn’t wanted. Again i am Covid + .So obviously you won’t see me this week or either my kids. Training have not be in my mind , cleaning and resting is . I will take day by day and rebuild my routine 

Yesterday, when i was just about to start my shift my knee snap and locked. Crucial pain and down for few minutes. What a better place to be ! Surrender by nurses! Obviously i returned home .Many question, did i done  too much ,did i push my limit to far ,how i am gona reach my goals or see improvement , did i done a mistake by signing up for the rabbit years. Today i calmed down and seeking answers/plan to be able to continue my journey! He won’t be easy to shake off  all the fears but i will not quit trying.

A week that i needed to constantly review my schedule . Kids were in school due it was the week before they were off. As a nurse ,i often forget about when people are off .Good think i track and write down all what need it to happen. This week was not the greatest in term a good training but my requirements got done . Keeping the momentum  and doing ajustements help me to keep me in track. I got excited when my son was telling me about basketball and then referred it to Kungfu.He might not realize how Kungfu help him outside the kwoon but i do !!It was my light up moments of the week!!

For the last few months i have been struggling but coping well .I trained but not the way i wish  but i am still training.I am fighting my heart / my brain. My heart tell me i  should do more and the brain holding me back .I choose to break board with technic i knew i did on the previous year’s. I choosed  the easiest  or maybe the safest way either or  it  help me to focus on my breathing and uses my muscles memory instead of how is my knee. I left that day with an incredible feeling that i am capable to reach any goals then this feeling got stronger when i got a strip. I might be a turtle for now in my progression but i am seeing it now !

 As the year of Rabbit approaches reflection is required.I have to admit that i didn’t push myself enough even if at first i thought i did. The years started with my injury. Fears and limitations got me to believe that i achieve something.Not giving up ,looking for modifications ,creating a Sai form and be more engaged. Reflecting of my next weapon form and thinking it will be easier to choose a school form than creating one felt wrong after having a one /one . Why ?I got sastisfied .Does satisfaction is enough or a mediocrity  for fooling myself. I had many ideas that was not working due of limitations but yet i let it go with something easier and short.Now that i have a knee  brace i feel like a white belt and re-learning how to move .Kungfu is hard work so time for me to stand by those words.

 18 motion temple is s a beautiful form that yet didn’t feel the flow . I know my abc but still working on the phrases. My kids did have an 1/1 and i was watching them .Listening to the advice and point to work on , made me realized  that i am not aware of what i was doing.I was more focusing on how my knee feel and how i was planting my foot. This brings an other concern to me due i have been modified it and i am affraid  of creating a bad habits and building my muscles memory in the wrong way. Awareness need to be my words .

 I have a fears of the spinning back kick and i have stop doing it . I did removed it from my form .Last night class when i heard what we gona do i told my partner sorry but you will need to found someone else.Instead i was asked can you do modified? I say yes ! Sifu came and also gave me advice! I am so glad they did ! I was able to get the hang of the technic and happy that i didn’t let the opportunity of learning something new.